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Question
Posted by: Renata | 2010/09/29

Abusive Husband

I have a problem with my husband, when we were just friends then, about 4yrs ago he told me that he is a christian and looking for a woman who he can marry, and who is as religious and God fearing as he is. After six monts of being friends we started having an affair and there was the pregnacy of my 2yr old daughter and marriage when i was about twelve weeks pregnant.
As a married couple i moved in with him at his house only to discover the most shocking things, different sizes of ladies underwear, many calls and sms from many lovers, who he never disclosed and lied about.
Then there were nude and half nude pictures of some ladies i also found in the house, when i confronted him about the underwear and the fact that he said he is a christian and is not allowed to have affairs or sleeping with any woman until he is married, and now all this underwear, nude pics, calls and sms''''s. He said he had his mistakes as a christian and a human being, "  i answered and said i do anderstand that we all have or mistakes, but this is totally unacceptable.
I went through this whilst being pregnant, as he is dominating, emotional and verbal abusive and especially when he knew that i was a post natal depression sufferer and suffering from it again after my babies birth. I have recently moved out and back with him thing he will change his behaviour and for the sake of our baby and marriage.
I just went back to see more msgs someone even saying i love u. I also discovered that he has saved a number of one of his exlovers under a different name. I found out because i knew the number by head, and when i asked him about all this again he became very rude and aggressive telling me that it was mistakes.
Please advise me if should get out of this marriage, cause we also not legally married, and he said he would never marry me legally as i am just a rubbish of a woman. He is 49yrs and i''''m 36 yrs, he never had any children before only the baby we have together. He was married before, pls advise me as i am depressed and desperately in need of help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds like a rather peciliar form of Christian. These are not "mistakes" but really bad habits. Mere promises to change his bhaviour are worthless, unles he is working with a shrink to have a real chance of actually changing. Promises are cheap.
What would be the point of staying in a fake "mariage" with this man, who is abusive, selfish and immature, and says he will never marry you ?
See a counsellor and work on gaining freedom for yourself and your child

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Renata | 2010/09/30

I wanted an answer from the doctor himself as he is proffessional.

Reply to Renata
Posted by: WHAT KIND | 2010/09/29

Renata......You posted this exact same post yesterday and got 8 ANSWERS.

Reply to WHAT KIND
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/29

He sounds like a rather peciliar form of Christian. These are not "mistakes" but really bad habits. Mere promises to change his bhaviour are worthless, unles he is working with a shrink to have a real chance of actually changing. Promises are cheap.
What would be the point of staying in a fake "mariage" with this man, who is abusive, selfish and immature, and says he will never marry you ?
See a counsellor and work on gaining freedom for yourself and your child

Reply to cybershrink

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