Posted by: Charisse | 2008/06/28

Abuse of Elderly

I have an 84yr old living in a room next to garage. Her daughter remarried and went to Australia leaving the ex husband to care for the mother for which he has no experience. The daughter claims she tried to put her in an old age home but they won't accept the mother as she refuses to leave. The ex husband does not work and basically the daughter in Australia controls the money. They live on what the daughter gives. My problem is no-one washes her and feeds her nourishing food or even medicates her properly. She is still a fiesty old dear and has not lost her facilties altogether. I just spent two hours trying to take her down the driveway as she wanted to go to the bank. Oh boy what a state she is in. Her legs are bandaged and oozing stuff, her neck is brown and her hair or wig piece is caked in yellow gunge. Sorry to say I had to shower straight after the ordeal.

I have had words with her daughter but she claims she can't do anything. The ex-husband has given up. Surely something can be done. Please let me know before I send the daughter a filthy e-mail.
Thanks Charisse

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Our expert says:
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Oh, I so do recognize such situations ! I'm not sure what is possible. The social worker at a nearby hospice might know of local resources, even if she isn't at this stage appropriate for direct hospice cae. A social worker should be sought to assess her condition and her state of health. If she is no longer able to care for herself, there is some possibility of a compulsory admission, or of some source of home care to help. Check with your local council ( I know, most are appalling ) but they are supposed to provide some sort of care for the elderly and disabled. As a good neighbour you could start such processes going, and supply them with contact details for the daughter.
Is there a local church which could help ?
Of course the daughter could do something, such as return for a while and arrange for proper care for her badly neglected mother.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/28

HALT ELDER ABUSE (HEAL) Please do a google search there is an article written by Health 24 and they give tel no's of who to contact.... I can't copy and paste the article it doesn't allow me to, but I found it on google.

The Welfare Department should be contacted or any social worker. This is so sad.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Carol | 2008/06/28

:( ... I dont have a mother or granny anymore ... dont people realise how short life is ???

Reply to Carol
Posted by: sadi | 2008/06/28

My children would love a granny!! They dont have any grandparents on either side and I dont have ANY family other than my husbands aunt and uncle in this country. It grinds my guts when children do this to their parents. I hope when that daughter gets old there will be nobody to take care of her!!!!!

Reply to sadi
Posted by: Tango | 2008/06/28

You can do as CS says and via the local Hospice seek the advice of the Socila Worker or call the Association of the Elderly. She needs correct care. Its rubbish what her daughter said - its a cop out.

Reply to Tango
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/28

There is an organisation where you can report abuse of the elderly....not sure where about in the country you are from but call LIfeline tel no above they will have it.

Otherwise when I find it will post it here for you.

Thank you for taking time to help this elderly lady and for caring enought to find help for her.

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/28

It truly is a sad state of affairs that in this country there is so few support for the aged and elderly. We see regular programs on carte blanche just how the elderly are being abused by nurses and staff at old aged homes....

In Australia where the daughter lives, the elderly and disabled are treated with such care and respect and have home visits regularly by various team of people employed by the state.

It seems in this country as long as you pay your taxes and the government can get something out of you they don't care one iota what happens to you, actually they can't wait until you die as they can get more tax from your estate.

Its an absolute disgrace.

I would call LIfeline tel no above they have a list of referrals. One definitely needs to get a social worker involved. This lady needs care, if she is unable to take care of herself she needs help. The daughter should be ashamed of herself and I think you should copy and paste and include in your email to her. She is living a good live there and just abandoned her mother.

Totally so not acceptable!

I hope you find help from somewhere.

Reply to anon

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