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Question
Posted by: gabi | 2005/07/01

ABOUT MY STEPFATHER TO BE THAT I HATE

Well my mother have been going out with this guy and when i first met him i was 12years old. Well this guy lost his job and my mother found him a job here in GP, and this guy started to leave with us. The day come in 2000 when we all went to Suncity and he told me that he loves me and that he would do anything for me, and the next year he told my boyfriend that he slept with me and my boyfriend told the whole town. While than i didn't know and he asked to have sex with me and i started to tell my mom about him. Well now the guy doesn't buy anything at the house and my mother asks my bother for money and i am getting mad everytime i look at him because i know he hates me. I've told my mother everything but the guy is not moving out the house and now i am 19 years old and my feels doesn't change for him i want him out the house. He told everybody that i want to kill him but him, i would just kill a better person than him because i truly do hate. Everytime i think about going to the house i just get sick and if he doesn't move out than i will move out because now he is planing to marry my mother.PLEASE HELP!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Gabi,

have you told your mother about his inappropriate behaviour towards you? And what was her reaction? It is an offence to not protect a child from abuse as a parent and if your mother is not able to face up to her responsibilities then you should consider contacting the authorities.

What I suggest you do is contact Childline for advice on what steps you can take - especially as you were a minor when he made these advances towards you.

You can contact them at www.childline.org.za or 08000 55555

Dont suffer in silence, and if your mother is not prepared to support you, then as sad and difficult as it may be perhaps start thinking about where else you might be able to live e.g. other relatives?

Feel free to post another question ifyou need more help.

Take care

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mike | 2005/07/08

If your new boyfriend makes you happy and you have a chance to leave the abusive type relationship with your mom & her boyfriend go for it. See if he'll agree to just let you live together a bit before marriage so you do not rush into things. Tell your mom you are an adult and will no longer put up with any ill treatment towards you. Unless your mom and her boyfriend are willing to respect you as a woman & person then there is no point in trying to make peace with anyone. They want everything on their terms & now you have an opportunity to leave.

Reply to Mike
Posted by: gabi | 2005/07/04

Well yes i've told my mother everything but the is no improvement of the guy moving out, my mother doesn't get along with her family and i can't go there. She says my father is useless and i must just stop thinking about him because he won't make me happy and now our father doesn't see us anymore.

She brings people i don't know to share a bed with me and when i say no she says i must move out of a her house. This guy asked me if i hate him and i said no because my mother said i must make peace with him, one of his friends told me that i must get over myself because this guy is not going anywhere.

Well now i am in love with a 33year old guy and he asked me to move in with him and i am still thinking about it because the guy knows my home story and this guy wants to marry me. But must i stay him? What if he doesn't make me happy?

Reply to gabi

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