Posted by: Milianoart | 2008/10/06


My Dear friend, has found out she is pregnant with a guy she just broke off with because he made another girl pregnant. She is frantic and I am doing all to convince her that aborting the child is not the answer. I have managed to calm her down, and to really think this out. The father has offered to pay the medical and his fees due, but will not marry her unless it is with his conditions and believe me they are scary demands. She does not want him involved with the child, I am a devoted Christian and do not want to abandon her and want to stand by her, by she is hell bent on aborting the child. Can you offer me any advice that I can just keep her on the right track. Thank you and God Bless!

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Our expert says:
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Did she not carefully use contraception ? I wonder what the "scary conditions" were. T and Lin are right that your task as a friend is to stand by her and be supportive, rather than to force her to stick to your personal agenda. Yes, by all means, encourage her to think carefully and examine all options before deciding, and preferably to see a counsellor to do so well.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Miliano | 2008/10/06

Thank you guys, this is so helpful and reallly I do give her the space and with Prayer our Lord will Guide her and show her this child can be a blessing. God Bless and thank you~

Reply to Miliano
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/06

She' s not the first and only person to be caught up in a tough situation, but aborting an innocent baby is not going to change anything. In fact, it will just make it worse. She will regret it later in life, making a decision based on her own convenience. Abortion is a sin, to say the least. It' s murder, so if you are unable to convince her otherwise, leave her to ' deal'  with it which ever way she supposes is ' quicker'  and ' easier' . Please do give her a lecture on sex before marriage or otherwise just make sure she gets to a clinic where she can get FREE contraception.

Reply to Me
Posted by: T | 2008/10/06

Sue, I could have written your piece! That' s me, it does kill something inside of you.

Reply to T
Posted by: Sue | 2008/10/06

Don' t ever abort - you will regret that decision for such a long time. I aborted my babies years ago from one guy, yip 2 pregancies. I regret it dearly. I have a child now &  his dad is not your average man. Infact he can be a terrible, horrible human being, however nothing changes the love I have for my baby. So even if the dad is a jerk, you can and will love the baby wonderfully. Don' t throw that away. It has killed me somewhere inside about the choice I made many years ago. Good luck.

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Nonnie | 2008/10/06

There is no need for her to abort. We live in an age where single mothers are the norm. If you can, assist her and be there for her as a friend.

Reply to Nonnie
Posted by: Lin | 2008/10/06

The thing is she needs your understanding and support, and not judgement.
Make it clear to her that you' ll be there for her no matter what she decides. If she aborts, help her by making sure she goes for therapy (she' ll most probably need it)
If she keeps the baby, get her in touch with a lawyer so that she can get to know her rights.
What you can aldo do is maybe show her all her options
For example: 1. abortion
2. adoption
3. Keeping baby
ect. ect. You can, as a friend, make sure she knows all her options before she makes a hasty decision.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: T | 2008/10/06

It' s her choice. You can only stand by her as a friend for whatever decision she thinks is best. It' s not an easy decision to make, and she needs space to make one that she believes is right for her and her circumstances, and one that she' s prepared to live with.

Reply to T

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