Posted by: Emily | 2009/09/16


My mom abandoned me when I was a few months old. I was left to be raised by my dad who also passed away when I was a toddler. His sister took me over and raised me, when I was about 8 years old, one relative told me that I was adopted and since then my life turned around. I became very sad, I used to sit and wonder why my mom left me, how does she look like, is she happy wherever she is etc. I became veryy reserved and did not have friends, I felt like am not the same as them because they were raised by their biological parents.

When I was 21 years old, I met my mom. She was happy to see me but that was when I felt the anger, I hated her. I did not even talked to her, she came to visit me at my auntie' s place but I locked myself in my bedroom, I wanted nothing to do with her. She tried over and over again but I just did not want her in my life. She passed away last year before we could sit down and me to have an understanding on why she left me. It is only now that I feel like I need closure, but she is not here and am left with so many unanswered questions. How do I deal with this now that my mom is no longer here to give me answers?

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Our expert says:
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At least you were raised by people who chose to do so, and cared for and about you. Who knows why or how any mother can abandon her child ; but she's usually not a mother who was likely to have been a great benefit had she stayed around. Your anger towards your mom is understandable --- though perhaps in the situation she found herself in she saw no other alternative. The quesions you now feel so concerned about come from within you, and the answers they want, need to come from within you, too. See a good local counsellor to explore these issues and give yourself the peace and self-esteem you deserve

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