Posted by: Annabell | 2009/03/15

A woman needs foreplay - and love

I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. The sex is usually good, but sometimes he wants to come on my face, and insists i go down on him every time we have sex. He doesn' t do this for me, even though i request that we at least engage in some form of foreplay beforehand. At least a caress or a kiss would do - sometimes its straight to it without me being aroused. I just tolerate it sometimes, even though it is painfull and sometimes I cry after cos it makes me feel like I' m just being used for sex. Once after he had been drinking, he had sex for so long that i couldnt take it anymore, and tried to make him stop but he didn' t. Does that constitute rape, even tho i consented in the beginning? He has never told me he loves me, and says I' m silly and selfish in bed, and i really dont think i am. I have tried talking to him about what i need, but things go straight back to how they were. I have told him im not comfortable with him coming on my face but then he gets upset when i say no. He makes me feel like a sleazy porn-star sometimes. I' ve never cried so much in a relationship, but 70% of the time its all good. Do i try and fix what i have or just accept that we are incompatable in the bedroom?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Sex constitutes one aspect of a relationship. Relationships are built on trust ,respect .love and shared mutuality .
It seems like you are in a sexual relationship.
If you want to continue the relationship there has to be an elment of your needs being respected and valued .
I suggest a psychologist / sexologist if you want to continue the relationship.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Sexy | 2009/03/18

One of the answers above show Nickname to be Sexologist - I apologise I do not know how that happened - it was meant to read Sexy. I am talking about the one that has the subject in the subject line -

Reply to Sexy
Posted by: DEE | 2009/03/16

Wow yours is a totally one sided sexual relationship ! what about your needs and what you want. As the relationship continues in a few years he is going to make other demands on you - stop it now ! put your foot down and if he doesnt like it - then tell him to take a walk on the wild side and leave! you cannot put up with this for the rest of your life.there are loads of considerate partners out there. Sex must be something that is enjoyed by both of you at all times - not just him ! good luck !

Reply to DEE
Posted by: XXX | 2009/03/16

Sex is definately a 2 way thing and I would certainly not give him oral sex and allow him to cum on your face if he is not prepared to do the same to you.
He seems to be a very selfish lover and you need to make a choice whether you are prepared to be used like this or not.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Sexy | 2009/03/16

No way I wouldn' t accept that - a relationship is a two way street, you both have to give and you both have to receive. Sex (making love) is an important part of the relationship, and if you are not happy with how it is going, eventually he will also not be happy, then you end up fighting about it.... if he is not willing to change, I would move on.

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