Our expert says:
Why not see a relationship counsellor together ( eg through FAMSA ? ) If he is not prepared to recognize that things are not working properly, and not prepared to share the responsibility and work towards solving the problems, then do move out, either to stay with family or friends, or to a smaller place --- is the comfort of a larger home worth the price of a painful relationship ? And be careful to avoid over-committing yourself financially --- one of the disadvantages is exactly this sort of situation, that you may feel trapped in a bad relationship or job, because of lack of financial flexibility to move on. I agree with Bizz. And think carefully about how you have twice got yourself into a similar situation, both in committing yourself to someone with whom you were soon uncomfortable, and in running your finances in such a way as to limit your freedom.
And don't switch into negative mode with a long litany of "I've failed" --- the pair of you failed, and him rather more than you. Learn useful lessons about how to avoid such situations in the future.
Maybe a cheaper car and a better home would be worth the swap ?
And maybe ask a behavioural vet for advice on why the dog keeps fouling inside the house ? Maybe he's expressing his opinion about human relationships ?
And lili --- consult a good lawyer / free law clinic, and the family advocate at the mafistrates court, and ensure that he pays full maintenance and the expenses of the birth.
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