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Question
Posted by: Me | 2004/11/01

a Simple question I guess....

I love 2 men (never thought I'd get to say this!....).

one is a stable 9 to 5 guy, treats me well, would NEVER cheat on me, adores me....I have feelings for him though I'm not sure whether its love anymore. I must be honest - most of the time he bores me a bit
We got involved 5 years ago.

the other is an artist - a crazy guy who has literally NOTHING - lives from day to day, from contract to contract. BUT HE MAKES ME FLY!!! I have crazy days with him, but never ever any source of stability or security. He has cheated on me before, and that is why I left him - almost 6 years ago.

Now, guy no 2 sent me an SMS declaring that he loves me (and many other things) and guy no 1 read the SMS and now wants to break up

WHAT NOW?! Do I go for the boring guy who will look after me until the day I die, or do I go for the crazy artist who will have me on an emotional rollercoaster for ever?

Some advice pse!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Me, I can understand why you would find them bopth pleasant to know, and comforting / satisfying in their different ways, but have you really been fair to either of them, especially top No. 1 ? We can't tell you which yo choose, as so much depends on what you want. Inc's response makes a whole lot of good sense. Do you really want, long-term to spend your life with a guy who is unstable and cheats on you ? Is that really fun ?

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/11/01

I think you need to answer the following questions before you decide? - Who can you bear to live with? Who is the person that helps you aspire to be the person you want to be? Who is the person who treats with dignity, respect and as an equal? Who is the person you trust with your life? Who is the person you will call when you need a friend? Who is the person who understand your needs as a person and sees you as an individual and not an extension of himself?
If you can answer yes to all those questions for any of those two men, then that is the one I suggest you stick with. But if neither of them fit the bill - then I doubt whether either of them are the one for you.
Remember your choices aren't limited to the two people just because they happen to be in your life at this moment.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Susanne | 2004/11/01


I think you are being really selfish in playing with peoples lives like you are now. If I were you I would do the right thing and leave them both. They deserve better. They are not play things that you can pick and choose. These are human beings and you making it all seem so light hearted. You should be alone.

Reply to Susanne
Posted by: TW | 2004/11/01

Stick with stablilty...the artist has proven to be unfaithful once and will no doubt do that agian...

Besides maybe "boring" guys needs you to help him spice things up a little since you seem to be so into that...why not it come from your side.

And as said above maybe there is a better guy out there for you so think things through carefully as you dont want to be unfair to both of them either.

Reply to TW
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/01

Hi Me,

Eish, that sounds like I'm greeting myself... just kidding a bit.

Me, your simple question is exactly the opposite of that, & I hope you know that you are the only person that can make the decision as to who you wanna go for...

Anyway, maybe a bit of help could be that you try look at where you are right now in your life, & what you want there-in. Try to think of what you want, & maybe that will help with your decision.

More than that I really can't offer as I strongly feel it is solely your decision.

Take care,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/01

Dear me

Stick to what you think will be of benefit to you in the long run...

the 'boring' guy will be more stable should you think of marriage and kids...

Remember that these two men are not your only options in life. You may find someone who has the qualities of both men.

Reply to Inc

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