Our expert says:
THere are plenty of self-help books which claim they can help in these regards, and some actually can. Books have an advantage over the "courses" or other group exercises some folks offer, which I dont believe have any lasting benefits and are over-priced.
But the most useful process of all would be for you to see a good pychotherapist / counsellor using Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT) which helps one to unlearn bad habits of thought and behaviour, and re-learn more fruitful habits - including better self-confidence and self-esteem, and learning how to engage with others and to feel stronger
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