Posted by: Carl | 2019/09/15

Wife may be cheating and may be a lesbian

Hi, I am looking for some advice, I have suspected my wife may be cheating on me with her friends who seem like they might be lesbian or bi-sexual to me. It is a problem for me because she is very possessive of me and I feel almost cuckolded which makes me feel small and inferior. The negative emotional effect is really hurting my self-esteem, personal happiness and overall life satisfaction. Truthfully I have no absolute evidence just many, many signs and an overall change in the mood and level of intimacy. When we were together for the first year things felt good and natural but since then it has felt like she just isn't that into me. Sex is something very brief and frigid. It has been that way for a very long time and I have reached a point of complete sexual frustration. I feel I have to leave the relationship because it is wreaking havoc on my life. But the problem is we have a two year old child together and I genuinely feel too guilty to leave her without any hard evidence and because of sexual frustration alone. She seems to never look at my penis and prefers sex where her back is turned to me, before I ejaculate she is already preparing to clean up the bed and fix her hair etc... I am completely lost in the moment and It ruins my orgasms when she seems to be not present during sex. She also spends a much longer amount of time with her friends than me, who seem to be all women without consistent male partners in their lives. They seem very sexual active but don't show much interest in men. When I discuss how I'm feeling she reacts very hostile and aggressively. So much so that I chose not to speak about it anymore but it is eating me away inside like acid. Please help me, I no longer feel like a happy father to my son who deserves that. What am I to do, is leaving his mother to make myself a happier person and therefor a more attentive and loving father reason enough to leave?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSex expert
- 2019/09/22

Sexual frustration, a lack of intimacy and infidelity - there are at least three reasons. 

Can you have an honest discussion with your wife about this? Even if you need to have a mediated conversation with a trusted neutral third party present to facilitate the conservation, you should talk this situation out.

The most important thing is to place your child's safety, well-being and happiness as central to these discussions. Remember that two unhappy parents together is often worse than two more calm and happy parents who live apart. 

I do couple counselling and mediated conversations:

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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