Posted by: Hendrik | 2020/02/10

Wife in other bed

Hi. We have been married for 9 years. My wife has been sleeping in our daughter's bed for the past 6 years. Sometimes the cat with them too. She complains that child and cat take up the entire bed but that she rather sleeps there. She complains that my 'breathing' is too loud when I sleep and I snore (about 3 or 4 out of 7 nights a week). I miss her next to me but she refuses to move back as she states that my breathing impacts her sleeping. Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/02/10

Hello Hendrik,
Obviously this is an unfortunate situation.  But maybe she is doing you a favour without you realizing this.  It would be worth checking with a good doctor : it is very possible that you may have a condition like Sleep Apnoea, which is very often not noticed by the person who suffers from it, but can have serious negative health consequences.
It's more common in men, especially when we get a bit over-weight ; it causes very loud and unpleasant snoring, in between periods when we actually stop breathing altogether, for a few seconds or even longer : then snore loudly as we re-start breathing.    It also often means that even if we think we have slept deeply through the night, we awake feeling very tired as though we hadn't slept.  The condition is often noticed by the spouse, and the pattern is very disturbing to their sleep : the loud snoring wakes them, then the silence lets them sink back to sleep only to be woken again when the snoring starts again.
You may wake with a dry, sore throat ; perhaps with headaches, forgetfulness, drowsiness while driving, etc.  Your doctor may refer you to a sleep clinic of one is available ; and in some towns there are people who can visit you at home and fit you with gadgets that measure your breathing through the night, to help confirm the diagnosis.  Treatment can include losing weight, and using equipment you can wear during the night to keep your airways open and functioning better
Dealing with this properly might greatly improve the quality of sleep and mood of you, your wife and even the cat !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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