Posted by: | 2020/03/20

Why do i feel guilty?

I have a job, wouldnt call myself lower class but definitely not middle class. Im comfortable, could do with me but grateful for what i have. Some months are better than others and some arent. The problem is that i never spoil myself, im always looking after my kids, my sisters making sure everyone is fine. Every now and then i like having a cup of coffee at my favorite coffee shop. A coffee and a croissant normally sets me back about R70.00. Lavish i know, but i dont do anything else for myself. Once i pay for the coffee maybe once or twice a month, i am riddled with guilt and then i start thinking i couldve bought bread etc. What is wrong with me. Surely Im as deserving as others especially considering its my own money?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/03/26

I know the situation you describe rather well.  When we grow up poor, we grow used to being very careful about money ; and even when in later life we may be able to afford some small extravagances we really enjoy, we easily feel guilty about spending anything on ourselves.  It's important to respect yourself enough to recognize that you deserve occasional treats and enjoyment, and that, in moderation these are good for your physical and mental health, and will enable you to continue being as valuable to other people as you usually are.
When you start to have thoughts that doubt whether your chosen treats are justifiable, just remind yourself firmly that it is your money, which you earned, and that you are already more generous towards others than mos people are.  Them swat away further thoughts of that kind,  as though they were annoying flies buzzing around you, and refuse to take them more seriously than that.

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