Our expert says:
You raise some important points, relevant to many people. Anxious and depressed moods, and even depressions and anxiety disorders can arise for a number of reasons. Though sometimes they seem to be closely related to depressing and/or stressful events in the outside, real world, more often they arise in other ways.
Some of us have, may even inherit, unhelpful varieties of internal chemistry which may pull us onto depression or anxiety even when we're living pretty good lives.
Sometimes those internal chemistries are tipped out of balance by some physical illnesses, or as a side-effects of some medications or street drugs.
Others of us, for various reasons, develop really unfortunate and unhelpful habits of thought, unrealistic ways of experiencing and thinking about the world, and ways of misinterpreting events. which lead us to the same miserable destinations.
From what you say, you seem to fall into this last category. to perhaps an unusual extent. You speak as though you are compelled with no choice at all, into doing some things needlessly and repetitively, that are of no value whatever to you or to anyone else.
As though your own actual life doesn't really matter, you pick other people and imagine yourself into what you imagine to be their actual lives ( in fact you know nothing about them ) and into the sad and scary things you imagine they must be feeling. I can see how that would be unpleasant, but not why you should do it at all.
What is usually most helpful here would be counselling of a very particular type called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) from a good psychologist, who could help you to identify these undesirable habits of thinking and responding, which are not at all necessary or useful, how to deal differently with such ideas when they arise, and how to rather occupy yourself with constructive ways of leading a happier and more productive way of living.
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