Posted by: | 2020/09/25

Raised by a narcissist

What are the steps to take to heal when you were raised by a narcissist and on top of that you suffer from OCD? Sometimes life becomes too much for me. I feel so damaged that I just wish I can die. After many years of suffering, I realised that my dad is a narcissist. Due to anxiety experienced as a child, I developed OCD. I don't know what is normal and healthy. I see happy families and I hear about love, and I don't know what it means. I feel unfairly treated in every aspect of my life. Sometimes I just cry, because I don't know how to heal from all of this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/09/29

Well, firstly, OCD, if it has been properly diagnosed, usually responds well to treatment, with medication, or with some specific forms of psychological counselling, such as CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) or both.   Arrange to see a good local psychiatrist or clinical psychologist for a formal assessment and diagnosis, and a discussion of your treatment options, and a consideration of the degree to which anxiety and/or depression is also a part of the picture needing treatment. .
The second part of your concerns is less clear than you seem to think. A Narcissist is not automatically an inevitably damaging monster.  Some are boring, some mildly amusing, many are tiresome and annoying. But they are not usually damaging.
Whatever went on in your childhood which you found so upsetting, must have arisen in the interactions between you and him, and your counsellor for the other more obvious problems should be able to help you make sense of that and to liberate yourself from it.
I'm puzzled by the situation. You are presumably an adult, able to support yourself and live independently. Why on earth do you choose to give your father such immense power over you, or to allow any aspect of him to bother you so much ? You could live your own life and ignore him completely. 
You don't need to be or to remain damaged at all. Even if he was awfully unfair to you while you were growing up, he should not be able to affect your life at all, now. Don't allow yourself to continue whatever harm he might have begun, by now being unfair to yourself.
CBT is a good form of treatment for your situation, in that it focuses on identifying unhelpful assumptions you have made in the past, and unhelpful habits of thought and behaviour which needlessly prolong and promote your discomfort ; and helps you to revise these, to lead a wholesome and enjoyable independent life of your own.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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