Our expert says:
Good to hear from you again : and to hear that counseling is bearing fruit in at least some ways. That he has managed to reduce his alcohol intake could be promising, but he apparently still shows features very typical of an alcoholic, the steady denial that he might be alcoholic, and apparently secret and solitary drinking. It is promising that he is taking better care of himself and his health. When you mention his tolerance level being noticeably low, one wonders whether he may have started developing liver damage, which can have this effect. Would he be open to the suggestion, as part of his own demonstrated greater self care, that he should see a good GP or physician for a thorough checkup, which would include liver function tests. The liver can be remarkably forgiving up to a point, but then the degree of damage accumulates. affecting consciousness, concentration, and just general brain function.
I respect your concern for how any changes might affect your children. But do bear in mind that in some situations, there may be no happy, great for the kids, option : one may need to search for what would be most likely, in the long run, to be the least harmful, or the one they with your support, could best cope with. There is often no option that leaves them unaware of much of what's going on : they usually notice more than we think they do. A father who sets a bad example may sometimes be as harmful as an absent father seen occasionally when he is well enough.
Of course there is nothing wrong with you wanting to maximize the quality of life of yourself and the children. You're a real enough adult to advise yourself with sufficient wisdom.
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