Our expert says:
Firstly, I'm sorry that someone, I don't know who, has caused needless delays in putting your question to me, so I can answer it.
For various reasons, teachers ( who are not trained as expert diagnosticians ) tend to over-diagnose ADHD.
Sometimes we find that people, especially children, respond to an illness that limits their freedom to roam and play, by becoming more stubborn and controlling whatever bits of life they can control. And kids often have an inspiring realization that saying NO, being oppositional, is usually a more powerful position than going with the slow and saying Yes.
Some thoughts. Taking away privileges might not work. ( her illness already did that, didn't it ? ). One can have more success with the old technique of picking the issues. Instead of entering an argument about whether or when he'll get dressed, you set up an argument about WHICH dress she'll out on, the red one or the green one, picking two both of which suit you. Help her to be stubborn about the right things.
Also, surely you have discussed this with her, calmly : what does she think ? Does she think anything is less than perfect ? Why does she think other seem to be any problems ? What does she think would help ? Does she feel restless, and needing more chances to exercise ? Is it possible she is in some way worried about you, and reluctant to leave you alone ? Don't blame yourself ; you didn't create this or any such problem, deliberately.
And it might, indeed, be worthwhile having her see a child psychologist, for a fuller assessment, and more detailed advice ?
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