Our expert says:
Brilliant observations. I can;t imagine what the psychologist could have been thinking of, who suggested you should not peak your mother tongue to your child. That sounds ridiculous. When I worked in Canada, which had a major split between English and French, I studied bilingualism and multilingualism, and wrote about it. Children brought up in a home with two languages may actually have an intellectual advantage ; though they may for a time speak in a way that confuse some listeners, when they mix their languages.
Also, in their early years, children learn languages more readily, and even get a better accent, than if they try to learn languages later in life.
When you mention he was restricted by health issues for a time, I wonder whether she might have become accustomed to extra attention then, to being special, maybe even having some special privileges ; and now expects some special attention more generally.
Attention-seeking behaviour interests me. The way most kids ( and adults ) seek attention is often counter-productive and produces irritation in others, Then, instead of changing tactics, they tend to do, even more, what is already not working ; like someone who when you don't understand what they said, says the same thing LOUDER, rather than more clearly.
You make a very important observation, something I meant to ask about, in noticing that she is fine in movies and restaurants : situations in which many other kids misbehave. That shows how her misbehavior responds to social cues, and suggests she will respond well to a planned program to change this.
One more point : with kids being problematic, its so easy to get trapped into punishing the bad bits. I find it even more productive to hunt for occasions when they're doing what you want, and encourage that by giving attention and praise.
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