Our expert says:
Above all, kids need a mother, not a friend. There's a difference between being friendly, and being a friend, which may prevent one from being an effective parent. She's well past the age of being told, firmly but in a pleasant way, that she should be looking after herself and being independent, and not trying to control your life, as it's time you were allowed to life your own life.
Shouldn't she be contributing more to the home, like sharing chores ? She sounds unduly controlling, and dependent. Were she to win the lottery, could she really manage to live on her own ? Try gently discussing these concerns with her, and suggest she see a psychologist or counsellor to explore her issues about living her own life rather than trying to be co-pilot on yours.
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