Posted by: Anon | 2019/09/28

Second Pregnancy, Wrong time?

Good Day CS, I am a 27 year old engaged student, I have a three year old daughter and have been with my fiancé for just over 10 years. I recently started to study part time as I am a stay at home mom too. I found out that I am pregnant last night and we don't know what to do. Our finances are not good at the moment, I just started school and my parent are helping me pay, we are not married and I feel shame in having another child out of wedlock. We are considering terminating but our faith and moral build are fighting so much against it. I don't know if I can live with it even though I'm only about 11 days pregnant, I also fear it will build resentment in years to come as we know we want this child and just cant have one right now because of all the reasons, we don't want to bring a child into the world when we are almost struggling at the moment, but we can easily blame each other in the future, I also feel ungrateful because I see children as a blessing and so many people want kids but cant have. I am also scared of what my parents will say and think of me, the first time I was pregnant and told my mom, she kicked me out. I am so confused, I can see that my fiancé is too, he wants this baby but is also scared, he says our daughter needs a sister and the gap is perfect because they will be around 4 years apart, but right now we cant afford my gynae, my vitamins, we cant even really afford our groceries as he's standby allowance got stopped. I'm just very confused at the moment Dr

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/09/30

Hi Anon,
I understand how worrying this situation must be for you.  Find an available source of counselling, at a clinic, pregnancy advice centre, any reputable source. You need expert and wise help to explore your alternatives and resources ; and to work out how best to approach your parents, who, even if they feel disappointed or even angry, still owe it to you to try to be calm and helpful.  Could HIS parents be helpful ?  If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, a state clinic should be able to provide proper ante-natal care, vitamins, and so on and access to a counsellor / social worker, who can also help explore whether there are any possible sources of some funds to assist.   And do, also, review your joint understanding of family planning methods, to avoid such unplanned crises in future.
Can other readers contribute some genuinely helpful advice ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2019/10/09

you have no right falling pregnant when not married. why did you sleep around? abortion is a sin against God so do not even think about it. it will haunt you. rather face your mistake and learn from them. i did mistakes and i learn from them.

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