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Question
Posted by: Andy | 2017/10/06

Problem during intercourse caused massive panic.

Dear Community Members, A few years ago my relationship of 5 years ended and I was very upset, depressed and began avoiding new sexual relationships. Instead I got sucked into excessive masturbation and porn fantasies! I became lazier, out of shape and started having back pains and headaches, fatigue and lack of concentration. I became very irritable and always stressed and worried. About a year ago I decided that enough is enough when even my cholesterol level was higher than normal and I felt like I am 50 instead of 29. Until now lost 13 kg and almost reached my healthy BMI. But I kept masturbating as usual and then I met someone and started a relationship, when the issue came to sex i got a shock which till now doesn’t give me peace and is threatening to destroy my relationship which I really want to maintain. Initially I had anxiety like never before, kept thinking now it will drop and lost my erection immediately. My doc told me to take some ciallis for confidence and I took only one 20 mg and didn’t work because I kept worrying and later got a headache. Howver, after seeing that my girlfriend was very understanding and supportive I relaxed and started getting normal erections from foreplay and her touch. However, it was harder to climax from oral sex and I even had to concentrate real hard unlike ever before. But the worst part was when the condoms we got turned out to be very tight (never had any idea about sizes barely used rubber in previous relationships only tests for STDs prior to intercourse) it was painfully tight at the base, even the head of the penis couldn’t expand properly (even tried masterbating in it, was very difficult but I managed to climax with hard grip basically forcing it) and when I penetrated I began slowly losing the erection and kept going just for my partner so she could climax. I am already happy that at least I managed to do that. But what scared me is lack of feeling, my penis didn’t feel stimulated inside which was horrifying. We tried three more times with the same result. I started fearing intimacy, she travelled for work and is due to come back after tomorrow. Been afraid all this time. Went condom shopping and got bigger sizes that fit me much better and in which I easily masturbated and climaxed with very light touches. Went to my doctor and had general blood tests performed and testosterone levels too. General tests came back normal and even cholesterol levels dropped drastically due to weight loss and better d

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist
- 2017/10/15

It sounds as if you have come a long way and have made great progress in so many areas. Also, you have done the right thing to opt for getting a bigger condom size. 


The key to erections at any age is relaxation - the kind that involves deep breathing and whole body massage.  The struggle to "achieve" erection is actually counterproductive. You can't will or force them. The more sensual your loveplay, the more likely you will be able to rise to the occasion. 

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/10/11

Andy, I think it is time you make an appointment with a sex therapist to help you deal with all this anxiety you have. Too me it sounds like you have a mental block or something. You are fine health wise so it must be psychological. Go and talk to one they will help you find a mid way so you can have a normal, healthy and fulfilled sexual life. Do not continue to suffer like this there is no shame in getting help.

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