Our expert says:
So sorry to hear about this, SD,
It's a tragically common situation in this country, where government provision for mental health is deplorable, and their provision and facilities for old age care is similarly disgraceful. Social workers should be able to give good advice here, but sadly too often don't. Have you checked about your mother's eligibility for SSSA Social Grants ? That night help pay at least some of the costs of care. Check the Department of Social Development.
As it is, as in most countries, many of us find as we grow older, that we become responsible for the care of our parents. Apart from the financial burden, it's very demanding of time, skill and patience. Look into -- https://www.age-in-action.co.za, which links over 800 NGO's dealing with the problems of older people. Try www.seniorservice.co.za.
But please don't fall into despair or think of suicide. Possible solutions do turn up, but only if you're around to recognize them and make use of them.
Harming yourself could not help the situation in any way, and would probably make everything worse.
Yes, many people contribute to such situations. It's be better of people would not have children they could not afford to raise to adulthood from their own resources ; and it would be good if more people put in a greater effort to provide for their own old age, saving rather than spending as lavishly as some folks do. But don't forget that your mother did more than give birth to you, and probably made sacrifices through your childhood, and missed out on many pleasures so as to be better able to care for you. We all do the best we can in the situations we find ourselves in.
I know many of our readers have faced similar dilemmas ; I hope they can offer you useful suggestions.
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