Posted by: Karen | 2018/01/22

Neglect and emotional abuse of toddler

Below is my earlier message. I see I didn't explain myself well. The parents are my stepson and his wife - they got married 2 months before the child was born. Good day. How does one deal with the situation of neglect and emotional abuse by step-children when partner won't listen and it results in a rift in your own marriage. The wife got her masters degree before thr child was 6 months and then told me she missed the child rolling over because she was studying and missed sitting up as she was talking to friends. The child 13 months is told it is being irrational and dumped into the cot to scream for half an hour - all he seems to do is cry. No-one sits on the floor with the child to play with him. The mother is impatient with the child and screams at him when he cries. Made me so sad to see and to experience the screaming was devastating

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/01/23

Thanks for the clarifications, Karen. It sounded, in your original message, as though your worry was about your own stepchild. So, these are concerns about your stepson : your partner's son ? : and his wife and child ?  Otherwise, I think much of my original response could still apply, except that you make have less direct personal status to intervene directly.
The issue may be that what you're noticing is indeed clumsy and untalented parenting, but not necessarily what the authorities might consider to be neglectful or abusive.  You could perhaps contact the Child Welfare authorities and discuss your concerns with them, and ask their advice about how to help.  But from your description, it sounds as though making a formal complaint could alienate the child's parents and also your partner, with no major benefit. Maybe it's more useful for you to have continuing contact with the family so as to be able to keep an eye on the situation, to be able to intervene with the authorities if the situation deteriorated towards actual abuse or neglect.  What do other readers think and suggest ?

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