Our expert says:
And perhaps then that is what you need to discuss with your wife. She may no longer want sex; or she may longer want sex with you. In reality, lots of people get bored by the same sexual partner time after time. In your words:
"Initially, as with all new relationships, we had a very good sex life."
This implies that as the relationships mature, the quality of sex life may change.
Try not to base your self-worth on her sexual desire. It does not mean that you are undesirable; this is a situation that occurs in many longstanding relationships.
Sometimes the pressure to have sex can make it worse, and she may feel even less inclined to have sex. Can you remove the pressure somehow for a while? And just be intimate; keep doing things to ensure she does not feel taken for granted. This is important, because relationships move and change and people can actually fall in and out of love with their longstanding partner over decades.
And have that conversation about other sexual partners. Explore it. But gently and maturely. Not as a threat, but as a solution. You never know, your wife may feel quite relieved.
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