Our expert says:
Hi Concerned Wife,
Apologies for the delay in answering.
Sometimes people's fantasies can feel quite shocking to hear, but often they are only that: fantasies. And fantasies are often comprised of the kinds of things that are considered socially/sexually taboo. Straight men fantasizing about eating other men's ejaculate is not as uncommon as you may think. Of course, most men would never talk about this, because of the stigma attached to it.
And potentially 50% of the sexually active "straight" identifying population has a "gay" side. We are all just so well socially conditioned to have to choose our label and stick to it, that we often never connect to other sexual alternatives.
But put us on a remote island for 10 years with only the same gender to sexually interact with and you may even find that, that 50% climbs to 90% of us!
This does not mean that 90% of us will necessarily have a homosexual experience in our lifetimes, but we certainly have the potential to be turned on by a homosexual encounter - if only we could get out of our heads for a while!
I also understand your upset regarding feeling like a porn star, and thereby being objectified by your partner. Again, this may just be his fantasy. And in many people's fantasies, they sexually objectify others or are objectified themselves. The important point is that you never feel coerced to live out this fantasy if you are opposed to playing this role.
Your husband can still be your hero. He is just a little "kinkier" than you realized; and what he is describing is not abnormal. Try to focus on his strengths as a lover and maybe keep your private fantasies as private. Often it is better that way.
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