Our expert says:
Hello, I understand your concerns. Long-distance relationships are never easy, and automatically include a range of extra problems on top of the usual difficulties of simple close-by human relationships. And the virus has obviously added greatly to this. Now, this does give an opening in long-distance relationships for people to gracefully agree to downscale their relationship, to remain friends but lower mutual expectations so as to match realistic possibilities.
That he maintains at least intermittent and unpredictable contact with you suggests that he does care about you.
You don't mention him showing this sort of pattern of depressions and evasiveness during times that you were together ; maybe it has started more recently, maybe related to problems in his situation in his home country. or other matters not involving you.
Of course you would like to be supportive, though this is hard to achieve. Sometimes the best you can do is firstly to express clearly to him that you care, wish you were close enough to provide direct support and help, and hope things will soon improve for him. But above all, this sounds significant depression ( or similar problems) and surely he needs to seek proper professional assessment and help in his country, which you need to encourage him to do. He should see a psychologist or psychiatrist for a full assessment and a discussion about how they can best help him to get a grip on this condition. Then as he improves with local expert help, he may well become more open to making better contact with you.
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