Our expert says:
Ooh. It really sounds more as though he is married to his mother than to you, and as though he has never finished growing up. And it will be difficult for him to change the habits of a lifetime, now. It makes little sense that she is happy for you two to live together for a decade, in every way like man and wife, and have a child together, but she doesn't want you to get married ? I wonder what "marriage" means to her ? How profoundly selfish she is ! She has apparently trained her son to be unnecessarily dependent on her, and too obedient to her, cares much less than she thinks she does, about what's best for him, and cares nothing for what is best for you or the child.
You may be wise to insist on your husband joining you in seeing a couples counsellor, to help you both to explore what's wrong, for him to discover what it means to be a man who understands his responsibilities to his spouse and child, and how to love his mother without being slavishly obedient to her every wish. What do other readers think about this sort of situation ?
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