Posted by: Jerkess of a wife | 2019/12/04

Me, the wife I'm a jerk I guess - reply to Professor Simpson

Hi, Yes I have no doubt my husband is miserable in our marriage. But his father was an alcoholic and I left him when he started drinking heavily, so he curbed it for a while, then started again and told me it is his fun. Great. Get on with it. In the meantime I look for a job. His daughter whom I love very much and have a great relationship with is his fixation. He never ever wants to miss a sports event even if it our date weekend, the kid has a biological mother and very involved grandparents. So, I guess I am a jerk wife. I am done with sex (with him anyway and my body must know it because I started bleeding after early menopause and haven't stopped) - Yay so he doesn't touch me, done with being the housemaid picking up and cleaning daily and the next day it is the same, done with his use of my car to suit himself and then to take me to the GP is an issue, done with his rude outbursts and generally grumpy demeanor, done with the lack of money, done with everything. I have never cheated and now I see clearly why women do that. I feel like cheating on him to hurt him. I really do. But knowing me I won't. I am done with him telling me that I better get a job....Done. And I accept I am a jerkess who hates being married and all the sh1t that comes with it. I long for my single days and independence. It's my first disastrous marriage and his second disastrous marriage. I'll happily die alone or get with an older man who just enjoys companionship and treats me like a lady. There's more to life than sex and a crazy relationship. Who needs it? I do not.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/12/05

Oh no, no jerkess !  Anyone who would enjoy marriage to the sort of guy you describe, would be truly daft.  So of course you are unhappy and restless and want to find a safe way out.
Some thoughts : lying is usually a part of alcoholism, They can be convincing liars, because they start by lying to themselves.  I'm worried when you mention continuing bleeding post-menopause : there are many possible causes, some rather serious, so please get this properly checked out by a gynae, asap
Wise to decide not to cheat for revenge : many problems with such a tactic, including the fact that the sort of guy you'd think of cheating on, to hurt him, probably wouldn't be hurt. Which you'd find even more hurtful.
And, from what you say, this is the second time he's spoiled a marriage.
Prepare well for a secure and satisfying independence.   Start selecting your new National Anthem and flag.

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