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Question
Posted by: Simone | 2020/09/16

Lost a family member

My dad passed away 2 months ago and I miss him so much. I cant sleep, cant focus on work. I am so sad.Too scared to cry as I might not stop

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/09/17

So sorry to hear about this, Simone.  It usually feels impossible to believe in these early days of a bereavement, but tears do stop.  Grief is awfully painful, and generally lasts around 9 months or more. But it's nature shifts.  You're still in the very early days, when the pain is raw and feels as though it will never end. The pain does stop, gradually ; not because you forget about him --- that will never happen.  But you come to see how much of all that was good about him is still with you, and will always be there ; when you come to see this more clearly though the tears.
Sometimes when you try too hard not to cry, it can actually prolong the pain, and allowing some specific times at home, in privacy, to weep and mourn, may actually reduce that pressure.  There is Grief Work to be done : re-scripting how your life will be without his direct physical presence, but still using the eternal love he gave you as a life-long supply, and using the good lessons he taught you. You know he would far rather know that you are living with the happy memories of him,  and would really not want you to be living in tears and sadness.   Maybe some grief counselling would help : your church, maybe your nearest Hospice program, should be able to recommend someone with the right skills to help you work through this grief.

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