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Question
Posted by: Greg | 2018/09/20

Loss of sexual desire in a new relationship

My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 months now. I would like to state that we are recovering drug abusers. I have just under 2 years of sobriety and she has 9 months. (Not sure if that wouldn’t have an affect on the situation). So to begin we were having sex quite frequently(almost everyday) the first month. The next month it started to dwindle, only happening once a week. Now it’s almost been two weeks. So is it common to lose desire so quickly? I’m clearly the one in the relationship with higher sex drive. I’ve tried talking about it. She states she just doesn’t have the sex drive. What can I do to bring it back or maybe even make her feel more comfortable?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSex expert
- 2018/09/25

Hi. It is not unusual that sexual partners can have very different sex drives, and often that means that the partner with the higher drive has to compromise and try to also focus on other aspects of the relationship that they find meaningful. That said, sometimes a rapid decline in sexual interest can mean that sex is not particularly satisfying. Many people have fantasies and fetishes that they are not consciously aware of, or that they try to keep hidden. Accessing and incorporating these fetishes and fantasies into sex play can be vital for their sustained sexual interest and pleasure. Other times it can just be simple mechanics: you are not doing enough of what makes her want to drag you into bed every other day. Be it kissing or foreplay or oral. Find creative ways to get her to explore her sexual self with you. Keep the exploration as un-pressured as possible. And open yourself up to all the variations that sexually connecting with someone else can hold.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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