Posted by: WhoCares? | 2018/05/07

Is he lying again...?

Some time ago I sent you my story about my ex-husband having a gambling problem, which resulted in our divorce. So as you can imagine, he lied to me about a lot of stuff, and I lost a lot of money. About three years ago he asked me to give him another sizable amount to invest at a very reputable investment bank. This money really belongs to me! I gave him the money! So I asked him about it... I asked that he please give me proof that this investment still exist. Now I am either paranoid because I don't trust him anymore, or he is lying, but it has been 6 days since I asked him, and nothing.... Every time I ask, he has what seems to me another lame excuse. According to him he requested the statement and he is waiting to hear back. Surely if you invest a lot of money (R150k) at a bank, you should receive statements or even have access to an online profile??? He insists that the investment is there and that he will give me the statement when he receives it. This is really driving me crazy! I so desperately need to know. How can I get him to confess?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/05/24

Firstly, I'm sorry that someone, I don't know who, has caused needless delays in putting your question to me, so I can answer it.  I am appalled.  Anyhow, to get down to your question.
Sorry to hear about your problem. I suspect very many readers will find it hard to believe why you lent even 50 cents ( let alone a very large sum ) to a man who had lied to you for years, and waster large amounts of family money, on a major gambling problem which he had not bothered to control. A husband you had sensibly decided to divorce over this specific issue.  Why would you, even for an instant,  think of giving HIM any money to invest for any imaginable reason ? 
And did you do so by simply handing over you own hard-earned cash to him, without a written contract about what would be done with it, how the  loan would be paid back, and a receipt signed by him ? Good grief !  Judge Judy would fall off her bench if she heard of this case.
If you needed to invest any of your money, you could do so with the bank on your on and in your own name.
Why wouldn't he, if even slightly honest, have insisted on it being at least a joint account, and giving you copies of all the documentation, and having monthly accounts sent to you ?
There's nothing whatever paranoid about you not trusting him : it'd be daft to trust anyone with his track record. He should be able to fetch a relevant bank statement from his bank branch within minutes ; and if he does internet banking, he could produce one in minutes.
Your problem isn't about "getting him to confess" ( and getting a habitual liar to "confess" is a useless exercise ) It's about sorting out what you want to happen, and how to achieve that, and you need good legal advice on that.  Without proof that this was a loan, and if he claims it was a gift, you may have no claim to the money or even to information about it.

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