Posted by: | 2019/02/15

I need to give up

I just cannot get over my relationship with my ex. We still talk and he has moved on to his next relationship which he says he is happy in. I am doing everything in my power to stay in his life and I don't why? He is not good for me, he has told me on numerous occasions that if he had to wake up and knowing that he never has to speak or see me he would be a very happy man. I know that he is serious about his current girlfriend but I just can't let go and losing my dignity at the end of the day. I plan to tell him that we need to stop talking and then when the time comes I chicken out. I know that we have to part ways but I am scared to be alone, I would even fight for someone who has long since moved on.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/02/19

Sorry to hear about this.  Denial causes needless misery in such situations.  Maybe you need to see a counsellor to help you re-enter the real world, to accept the absolute fact that this relationship is OVER and that this is a good thing for you, to learn to love yourself and to respect your own worthiness, and to discover your full competence to live on your own.
You've said it yourself : he is not good for you and you have lost your dignity.  Do you really need to tell him that the pair of you need to stop talking ?  Jut stop contacting him in any way, and remove his number and contact details from your gadgets.
You will never get him back by the tactics you're using, which are only driving him further away.  The key thing you said is "I am scared to be alone".  This is where a CBT style counselor can help you to become adult and independent and to enjoy that. You will be able to have a much happier and more productive life once you achieve that.

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