Posted by: | 2017/11/23

I have a loving boyfriend, but he's too complacent for my taste. This other guy that I've been on and off with, has his life very put together and he's very close to what I look for in a partner

My current boyfriend makes me feel beautiful, comfortable, and safe in a physical sense, while the other guy treats me like a queen and has the resources to do so. Both of these guys are the same age, but at very different ends of the spectrum career-wise. My boyfriend works construction and is planning on enrolling into college in the spring, but now he's pushing it to the fall...(I have recently obtained my degree, so it's very important to me that a partner has, or is in the process of getting, a degree) The other guy graduated college a few years ago and has been working non stop since. His grind is what I admire about him the most. He's very fiscally responsible and his lifestyle reflects that which I would someday like to have for myself. The dilemma here is that I experience the most physical comfort with my boyfriend and he's very calming for my wild personally, but with the other guy I have this incredible connection with that spans through our similar life experiences and culture. However, I've already left a previous boyfriend to go seek out the other guy and it didn't work out because I was fresh out of a 3yr relationship. Now, it has been over a year and I'm considering leaving my home town and comfort to a brand new city (where the other guy lives) to start a new chapter in my life. I'm both terrified and excited by the decision I will soon have to make but how do I live with myself when I haven't told my boyfriend about any of these plans or should I even bother to let him know? I'm a bit of a serial dater. I cheated in every relationship I've had.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2017/11/24

Hmm.  Maybe we need to start at the end of your message. "I cheated in every relationship I've had." Frankly, I can't help feeling sorry for whoever you choose to date, now or next.  Your message is full of what you want : he must be college educated, intelligent, very hard working, rich, and make you feel beautiful and treat you like a queen.  Does such a guy really deserve a serial cheater who seems to think only of herself ? 
You plan to move to a new city where candidate B works ( perhaps you've told him about that exciting privilege he is due to enjoy, however temporarily ), but you haven't yet told the poor mug who thinks he is your current bf. 
Maybe as an act of kindness to humanity you might think of becoming a nun ?  Or at last see a personal therapist to work on very important and urgent issues such as your ruthless sense of entitlement and disregard for the feelings and needs of others. Finish your growing up, to accomplish enough maturity to relate to others as an adult, rather than a princess.  Retire the tiara.  Then not only would you hurt less other innocent people, but you'd be far better able to form a genuine two-way relationship that could bring happiness to you and your partner.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/11/27

applause, applause, applause....well said doctor..

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/11/24

Shame on you! That poor guy. Leave him, he is better off without you.

Reply to Anonymous

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