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Question
Posted by: BS | 2018/01/22

I feel like Ive lost my ability to think objectively prt2

Now I know him..the fact that he started this conversation with her (a woman who he knows I know and whom to me she is always spoken about as being so full of herself and arrogant, but did you see that photo shoot she did). Ive read the all the messages and although he never directly comes out and says he wants to jump her bones, mostly because she shot him down from the start and has continued to do so, I know that if she gives him a tiny bit of rope he is going to be all over that, but I cant prove that you see, and like I say, I know him. I know that i am going to be out to be this horrible person who always doubts him and who cant let go of the past and he wasnt doing anything wrong he was just being friendly, and why wont I let him live his life, why must he walk on eggshells around me, he has always been a friendly guy (mind you he was never like this with me when) and he feels like he is not welcome in my life and he will never be good enough for me. ll things Ive heard a million times. Now my dilema is, because Ive been told these things as though it was playing on repeat Ive really begun to doubt myself and my character. Things which in the past I knew to be wrong I now think, maybe it is me being an asshole, maybe I am treating him poorly and maybe it is my fault that he can never feel realxed or safe around me, but at the same time there a tiny little voice shouting "this isnt ok". What do I do? What I want and what I think I should do seem to conflict all the time

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/01/23

You don't know how much he has been flirting, etc., with women you don't know and haven't found out about. But the fact that he also does so with women with enough of a connection to you that he must know there's a good chance you'll find out, and doesn't care about that, shows no respect for you at all.
You don't have to "prove" anything about his misbehaviors : he has proved he can't be believed or trusted.  Your error isn't being too suspicious but it's not acting on what you now to be facts. He is pestering and harassing other women, like a Hollywood mogul. And you are serving as an enabler.
Stop allowing him to mesmerize you into believing his nonsensical attempts to blame you for what he does wrong. This is a form of brain-washing : close that laundromat, and lock him out of it.
See a counsellor to help you find the confidence and sense to exclude him permanently from your life, and move on to meet an know some decent men : they do exist.  What will happen to him if you do so ? It really doesn't matter. His life is HIS responsibility, not yours.

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