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Question
Posted by: | 2018/10/10

I feel insignificant

We have been together for 2 years but according to him we are just friends with benefits, and I will never meet his family as they would never accept that I am older than him, have a child and not the same religion. This is okay with me because I'm independent and don't need validation from anyone. However, he just opened a business and most of the money used to open this business comes from my pocket. I work in the business too but feel more of an employee and less like someone who has invested more than half into this business. Today his father came to see the premises and I was told not to come to the office as his dad can't know that I am part of this business. I feel insignificant, I mean I have put money into this business yet I have to hide when his family is around. What do I do? Am i wrong for feeling this way?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/10/11

Of course you're not wrong to feel this way. You have, unfortunately, created an unnecessarily difficult situation for yourself. I think it is rarely if ever wise to invest in any business without the advice of a lawyer and a legally acknowledged role as an investor, with an agreed plan for you to have shares in the company / business and some role in its governance, as well a spelling out how and when your loan will be repaid. 
As it stands, you may be friends, but most of the benefits are his.
It's also not wise to commit yourself to a relationship in which your partner wants to keep you a hidden secret from his family, without resolving whatever issues there might be. A man who feels he needs to hide his partner from his family is not fully adult or independent.  Interesting that to open "his" business,  he apparently borrowed from you, and not his family.
Having not attended to these basic essential protections, you rendered yourself much less independent that you wished to be.
Be assertive, not aggressive, but ask him to protect your rights and interests. Maybe consult a lawyer about how best to do this.
What do other readers think ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2018/10/11

be good for both of you to sit and talk about the future. he cannot hide you away forever and live 2 lives. Also prepare yourself to cut ties as painful as it may be if the relationship cannot proceed with full acceptance by him and or his family of you as you are. sometimes you get these toxic families that put pressure for conformity to their standards or beliefs and its not worth anyone's time to deal with trying to fit in cos they may never change.

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