Our expert says:
So he's ambivalent. That's a luxury, and may also be selfish and a way of trying to have his cake and eat it, and to avoid taking personal responsibility. Sneaking out at night to see her ? That has nothing to do with the child. Taking drugs to her ? Could that be criminal ?
I don't understand why it sounds as though you and he spend so much time with her an at her house : why ? You're only giving her opportunities to annoy you. He shouldn't need to do anything "in hopes" of seeing his son : he could go to court and get a court order providing him with access to see the son in specified ways and times. The issue is what benefits the son, not the mom.
Why isn't he allowed to take the boy out to a restaurant, or to visit at the home you now share ?
And see a couples counselor together to work on the details.
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