Our expert says:
Hello Black Ant,
First, be cautious about using so many Capital Letters in a message : it feels like you're shouting.
Now, let's look at your concern. OK, so you didn't mean to harm anyone. Presumably you are HIV positive, or you couldn't infect anyone ; and maybe you had not told her that fact before having sex with her ? It's considered basic good manners, as well as sensible in so many ways, to do so. Otherwise you get into this sort of situation : you didn't give her the basic information she needed to make an informed decision about whether or not to take the risk she unknowingly did. Resolve never to do this again.
Then, presumably, you discovered that the condom had broken, and sensibly, you are concerned that this probably exposed her to a risk of infection. In this sort of situation, infection is possible, but not certain.
Yet you say that you DID infect her. How do you know ? And how could you know, without her knowing, as she'd need to have had blood tests ?
Are you assuming that she has been infected ? That's probably the case.
Then isn't it your duty to discuss this with her, so she can know that she is at risk, and can arrange, with your help and support, to get properly tested and take whatever precautions are recommended ?
Not to tell her, so she might not get very important tests, would surely be even more irresponsible than your original problematic act. Maybe you were drunk and lusty when the condom broke, but now you're sober and know exactly what you're doing : there's surely no excuse for not doing the right thing now ?
Maybe it'd be helpful for you to see an HIV counselor who could guide you towards working out the most helpful way for you to reveal to her the fact that she was, without your intending her any harm, placed at risk, and helping her to arrange to be tested, and get counseling for herself whatever the results ?
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