Posted by: Worried | 2017/12/07

Husband worried about fantasies

Good day My husband and I had a much needed talk. He has admitted to being very depressed as he believes he is a really bad person deep down due to the sexual fantasies he has been having. He says it goes back all the way to childhood. He admitted to having thought about cheating on me, but has never gone through with it. He also admitted to watching pornography when I am not around which he says is screwing up his mind even further. Is it possible that it is a hormonal problem or is this just plain normal. I am also not sure who he needs to see about it. We have a life coach that is willing to work with him on it, but as she is also a friend he told me he would be uncomfortable talking to her. Do you have anyone you can suggest in the Worcester (close to where we live) or Helderberg (we often visit) area Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist
- 2017/12/09

There is nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies. However, you mention that your husband feels depressed about his fantasies and that he feels that watching porn "is screwing up his mind." I recommend that he seeks professional help. I would not see the life coach as this person is a friend plus not trained in dealing with sexual issues. You can always contact me as I do work in your area. 

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2017/12/07

I dont believe sexual fantasies makes you a bad person. I truly believe we all have fantasies that we even sometimes feels guilty about. The difference for me like with any other thing is do you act out on it. Secondly is it thoughts that consume you to such a extend that you cant function "normal" He took you in his confidence to speak to you about it.That shows his commitment and love. We are raised i believe to restrict sex to normal and abnormal. I believe whatever is acceptable to a couple ( TRULY HONESTY) is acceptable. Goodluck

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