Posted by: Lara | 2020/07/12

Husband won't get out there find a job

Dear cybershrink my husband is an architect that works mostly on contractual jobs overseas. Most recently he had a government contract in abu Dhabi he hasnt been paid for the job even thought he completed the project,since the covid virus and won't ask the uae government to find a way to pay other than a cheque.he claims they will not hear anything and told him to fly all the way collect it. I don't have the money for the flight even if we were open to international travel. We are struggling financially and constantly fight because to me, his really not doing enough. I don't earn enough to support our family and I just can't seem to get him off the couch and do something for us. I've exploded during arguing and he feels like I have diminished him as a man with my suggestions and pushing which are that he tries to look at finding a job or to speak to people to help us. He values his ego and pride above us and I can't deal with it anymore. I am becoming nasty and resentful to him.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/07/14

Hello Lara,
Sounds like he's giving up, which is clearly unwise. His ego and pride have obviously already been injured, but the way he is choosing to react to this is only making it worse. These are awful times in which to be looking for any sort of job, due to the state of the economy and the often daft and changing rules of the state's clumsy reactions to the viral epidemic. But it's still worth trying, and using creativity to think of new opportunities. I'd think that there is and will be a need for architects who can think about the implications of the virus, ventilation, social distancing, etc. And who has thoughtful ideas about how to economically revise and alter existing buildings to increase public safety.
Of course it's understandable that you feel worried, stressed and become irritable : but those reactions in terms of being critical and angry can be counter-productive.
Look out for every little thing he does, even accidentally, in the right direction and commend these enthusiastically.  Encourage him to explore new ways to use the time he now has available to develop new ideas and skills as I advise above ; and encourage him not to be too proud in the current financial crisis, to take other forms of work, humbly, that would at least bring in some funds and, also very important, to help him keep up the basic good habits of Working.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.