Our expert says:
See a counsellor to help you better understand what is happening within you, and how to handle the situation better. So, the breakup was unexpected : so was the 4 hour power-cut we endured this morning. It made me furious, because it was unexpected and unpredictable, and threw my plans for the day into a mess. So it is with breakups.
It's important to recognize that the relationship obviously wasn't as deep or significant for him as it was for you, and that it IS over : it's not going to reverse itself now.
Your choices are to insist on sticking in denial, pretending that it can all be magically sorted out, and pickling yourself in anger and despair ; or to be realistic, to face the fact that he wasn't who you assumed he was, that maybe it was better to find out now rather than later, and that you are no free to move on, to become independent, not needing him in your life, and that you can now take your time to find someone worthy of your love, and move ahead to a happier future.
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