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Question
Posted by: Moonlight | 2019/02/08

Clean break

I feel emotionally exhausted and feel partly responsible. I was involved with someone who made it clear has no intention of committing (due to a previous failed commitment) after 2 years I broke up with the person but did not allow myself time to heal. In the process I met someone new, as thrilling as it was in the beginning I feel it's starting to drain me both emotionally and financially. I am employed and he lost his job and from time to time I do assist him financially. Every time I sit and analyse this relationship I feel it's not worth keeping for these reasons, 1. a few months after we met he told me about his girlfriend (long distance), which did not bother me much. Apart from me assisting him financially, he on the other hand rarely offers to help e.g. wash car, yard cleaning or anything that does not require spending money. Of lately, he has been talking a lot about polygamy and from what I can pick up from the conversation it's clear he plans to make me his second wife as he tries very hard to teach me about polygamy and the "positives" of such . While I have nothing against those going into polygamous marriages, I have never pictured myself being part of that and do not wish to be. I want to break it off, but I feel bad like I am leaving him when he needs me, on the other hand I feel suffocated. How do I make a clean break without feeling guilty?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/02/09

Hello Moonlight,
Will there ever be a time when you would feel it possible to leave this lazy and selfish leech ? Won't he perpetually be needy, thinking solely of his own needs / wants, and essentially predatory ?  It's surely relevant that he likes men to be allowed to have many wives : women to have many men, not so much his favourite thing.
Maybe you need to see a good counsellor to better understand why you seem bent on becoming a serial Sugar Mommy, your vulnerabilities and your difficulty in avoiding and escaping what may to others seem pretty obvious exploitation.
Why should you feel guilty about no longer sponsoring his sloth ? What awful thing would happen ?  Might he need to find a substitute sugar mommy to make up the threesome or foursome he fancies ?

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