Posted by: Briony | 2013/05/07

How do I let go?

Morning CS - how do I let go of a person that I feel no longer deserves to be part of my life? I am tired of being emotionally abused and bullied by someone who actually brings nothing more than pain and heartache into my life. Do I just cut him out of my life and never contact him again, how do I go about it? I have tried discussing the issues in our relationship, but have met with nothing but resistance and unkindness. I am giving up on him as I find myself in a perpetually dark place when it comes to this person. I feel as though I am being sucked of every bit of good feelings I have within me and that is not who and what I am. I am generally a caring and compassionate person, but enough is enough already. This person is not even related to me, merely an acquaintance and he is like a parasite, sucking all the goodness out of me, turning me into something I am not and don't want to be. Since I have been friendly with him, I have had these dark thoughts and feelings and I don't like feeling that way. I need to rid myself of this person for once and for all. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2013/05/07

Sounds like it'd be an excellent decision to excise this person from your life, but without a lot of details its not easy to say how to go about this. From what you say, you're not married or in any other formal relationship with him, and he's merely an acquaintancwe that has made himself a nuisance.  If so, then just say NO --- tell him that you find this relationship is increasingly negative and unpleasant for you, and you would appreciate it if he made no further contact with you.  And maybe add that if he persists in intruding on you, you will seek further legal and police advice and obtain a restraining order which would forbid him from contacting you at all.

Debate and discussion would probably be fruitless.  If the person has shown any signs of physical violence or the potential for that, it might be best to start by contact a group which advises abused women, such as POWA, first, to plan a safe separation.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: ann | 2013/05/15

you definitely need to cut all ties! you will feel free-er later on!!

Reply to ann
Posted by: JOHN from Johannesburg | 2013/05/10

As there is no mention of any physical relationship , either present or past , you should not feel bad about terminating an unhappy relationship .People normally have hidden agendas , that only surface after many months .Then the entire picture changes . Jealousy is also a major motivating factor of break downs in relationships.

Reply to JOHN from Johannesburg

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