Our expert says:
Suzi, you're trying to be as controlling as him. This isn't about a gym. He isn't wanting to control where you exercise, and you know this well. Rather than reacting as violently as some spouses might, he wants you to take an obvious step to reduce the risk of your infidelity happening again. That's surely not highly unreasonable ? Its understandable that he filed for divorce, and kind to you that he has paused this process.
Was this the only gym in town ? Seeing a couples counselor together would be an enormously healthier option than going back to the gym. Discuss this calmly with him, and maybe suggest that you will find a different gym ( maybe one that you and he could go to together ?) if he will agree to join you in couples counselling, to benefit both of you.
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