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Question
Posted by: kiera | 2020/02/03

Flirting boyfriend

Good day, I'm with my BF for a year now is it ok for him to flirt with a woman in the mall, or on his phone, he makes it out to be a joke and that I'm too serious. he tells me he doesn't trust me and I never ever gave him a reason not to, but I was married before and he was not, and the divorce was not even my fault my ex cheated on me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/02/06

Hello Keira,
This doesn't sound like a fully wholesome relationship, does it ?
Beware of people who do clumsy hurtful things then pretend it's "just a joke".  As I often say to such people : "If you're the only one laughing, it's not a joke."
Flirting between two people who know each other, and which doesn't upset others, can be OK, but this sounds like someone who knows you feel insecure about the relationship, taunting you unkindly.  If he doesn't trust you, for whatever reason, why has he stayed with you ? And if he doesn't, why should he pretend to flirt with others IN FRONT OF YOU ?  That's unkind and of no advantage to anyone.
If he doesn't genuinely value the relationship with you, maybe it's time for both of you to move on in your own directions ; you'd lose very little.  If he does value this relationship, then maybe you two should see a couples counsellor to see if these issues can be sorted out.  At least if that doesn't work, you can each move on with abetter understanding of what went wrong, and how to avoid it in future.

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