Our expert says:
Sometimes an accurate and expert article can help us to recognize within our own experience that we have a known type of problem which needs attention. There i also a risk, worth recognizing, that sometimes irresponsibly seductive but ill-informed articles may unhelpfully convince people who are worried but well, that they are sick.
But within an unhappy marriage, abusive behaviours may develop in one or both partner gradually, and we may adjust to them ; perhaps attending to other problems which seem more urgent. The misery may build up to a marked degree before something : perhaps something you read, or what someone aid to you : brings it into focus and you recognize it for hat it has already been, for some time.
Is there a possibility that marriage counselling might help you and your husband to repair what has been going wrong ? Or is that not an option ?
Don't panic. You're not going crazy, even if it might feel that way at times. You are contemplating a major change in your way of life, and that of your children and husband. See a good local counsellor so you can better understand what has been happening, and explore your options and their likely consequences. You may also need to see a lawyer to be sure of your rights and those of your children.
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