Our expert says:
If he really thought there was absolutely nothing wrong with this sexual
flirting with a married woman, have you asked him how he would feel if
you took up a torrid cyber-flirt with an old boy-friend of yours,
exchanging nude pictures and so on ? Would he find that equally
blameless and splendid ?
Does he think it's fine merely because he doesn't actually plan to physically leave you, when visa requirements and her husband probably make that impossible anyway ?
He is being over-dramatic when he talks about being unable to live a day without talking to her : he'll probably survive that. But why haven't the pair of you engaged seriously and sincerely in expert marriage counselling, to better understand yourselves and each other, and see what,if anything, could be sorted out ?
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