Our expert says:
It is important to know that two minutes is about the average time a man takes to ejaculate, but due to the
differences between men and women, many men choose to learn to delay their
orgasm in order to try to give more penetrative pleasure to female partners.
Whilst a low dose anti-depressant (SSRI) can help as one of the side effects of
these drugs is to delay orgasm, the benefits will stop as soon as you stop
taking the medication...so it is a short term aid. Perhaps you could learn to
delay your ejaculation...?
The best way to learn
this would be through masturbation where you learn recognise your physical
signs of excitement (e.g. heightening sensation, a sensation in your testicles,
heart rate) and at which point you need to ease off before it's too late (i.e.
when the 'twitching' begins, it's probably too late). One way to help with this
would be to try scoring your excitement on a scale of 0-10, with 8 being the
point at which there's no turning back. When you get to about 5 or 6/10 you
need to start using delaying strategies. For example: slowing or changing the
rhythm of the friction, trying to take some deep and slow breaths, and try
tensing your pelvic floor muscles as if you are trying to stop the flow of
urine. Once your arousal has reduced somewhat (e.g. to about 3 or 4/10), you
can resume stimulation and repeat this process several times before allowing
ejaculation to take place.
A trusted partner
could be a great help by coaching you through this, asking where you are on the
scale, and encouraging you to use the strategies suggested. You stimulate
yourself for the first few practice rounds (i.e. over days or weeks) and then
once you have had some success, perhaps your partner could stimulate you, but
she must slow down as and when you says to do so. Once you've gained confidence
like this, you could move onto trying this intravaginally. This is likely to be
much more difficult because of the sensations (warmth, moist) of the vagina so
you should maybe slow your arousal down earlier than 5 or 6/10 to begin with.
The best position to learn this would be with your partner on top so that you
can focus all of your attention on your sensations, but you must remember to
direct your partner to slow, stop, or start again as you need.
It's really important
that these are 'exercises' though, and not 'sexual acts' as normal, otherwise
you will feel more pressure to perform and your partner may feel frustrated -
neither of these will help you with this learning process. I hope this helps.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.