Our expert says:
A cheater is only a cheater because he is very comfortable breaking very serious promises he made to you, so you must always know that any other promises he makes will be treated with no more respect than that.
Each time they're discovered, they tend to ask for just one last chance. And I ask "How many very last chances to you think you deserve ? "
Anyhow, you seem to be describing someone who is wholly selfish, possibly alcoholic, at least psychologically and emotionally violent ( and that always leaves actual physical violence a potential ).
It's not quite clear to me what you say he did, but if you were independent, with a house, car, job, etc., then it's hard to believe you just allowed him to sell your property. But while we need to learn from past mistakes, we must not get glued to them : looking back, it may be clear that marrying in COP was a huge mistake, but it probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Simply wasting time regretting it and similar errors is understandable but not helpful. We need to learn lessons about not repeating past errors, but need to concentrate on escaping from the negative consequences and moving ahead. You are not a loser : you married a total loser, who drags you down, and teaches you to blame yourself for the problems he causes.
It sounds as though he followed the police of : What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine, too. Refuse the invitation to accept the blame. Simply regretting the mess that has arisen is not in itself useful.
So, what's worth doing about this ? Contact one or more of the organizations that support and advise abused women : groups like POWA. They can give good advice, maybe help you find individual counselling, and a support group, with other women at different stages of escaping from such troubles, within which group you can help each other considerably.
Explore what resources you may be able to draw on : don't you have friends and family who could take you and your daughter in, in an emergency ? What are you doing with your earnings ? Is there a way to protect them so you have some funds to support yourselves?
Concentrate on protecting yourself and your daughter, and plan to achieve your independence and safety. If he thinks he's so marvelous, leave him to care for himself ( the only person he has ever truly cared for ) and he can sink or swim as he wishes. That needs to be no concern of yours.
But get expert and group support so as to do this effectively. And feel free to return to the forum with fresh messages to let us know how you progress.
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