Our expert says:
As one gets older, and especially in an economy where it's hard for anyone to get a job, unless one is very wealthy, taking courses simply because they interest us, and where they don't lead to a high likelihood of a job, is an expensive hobby. One can learn a lot about all sorts of things one finds interesting, as a hobby. Similarly, studying part-time is often an advantage, specially when giving up a full-time job and its reliable salary and perks is like jumping off a bus it may be very hard to climb back on.
But, you made what seemed like good choices at the time, and there is no value in blaming yourself if unpredicted other problems made this not work out the way you expected.
If you are seeing a psychiatrist ( maybe also a psychologist while your medical aid still works ) ask for a clear diagnosis, a clear treatment plan for the future, in writing, so you could try to carry on with that after medical aid, through a GP or a provincial clinic. Check with SADAG for a depression/anxiety support group near you. Check for affordable or free counselling availability
You are not a deadbeat or loser, but you are significantly depressed, deserving proper care. Stay clear from thoughts of self-harm : a you've found, it only make things worse, and there are far better options around.
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