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Question
Posted by: Lionel | 2018/12/10

Married woman with many face book male friends

My wife is a very social person with many Facebook friends both male and female. Let me say that I am the opposite with few friends and I tend to like my privacy and will seldom post any comments. My wife on the other hand is a follower on Instagram especially following all the soapy stars, singers, sportsmen, etc. She is a faithful wife and has not cheated on me although can be very flirtatious. Am I unreasonable when I say that married men and married females cannot be mere platonic friends? My wife assures me she has many married and single friends and that it is nothing and that I am just jealous. My problem is that she has hurt me in the past by kissing colleagues inappropriately in my presence and afterwards laughed it off as only having some fun whilst I was livid. She has stopped this practice as we no longer attend office parties as I am wheelchair bound and most venues do not cater for wheelchairs. I am quite fit working hard at upper body strength and we are fast approaching sixty. The wheelchair bound lifestyle is fine with us but we no longer have sex by mutual consent due to my medical condition. She assures me that she is fine with this although we both enjoyed a satisfying sex life before. Could the mistrust on my part be attributed to this as some of her men fiends are magnificent male specimens, gym bunnies I call them. She has very young friends (18) and some as old as our kids (30 something) and then some our age (50+). Am I being paranoid since she never leaves the house only for shopping and book club once a month? Another thing she shuns physical contact except for a peck on the cheek whilst she hugs and kisses friends no problem. I have told her that I need to feel loved with a hug and she has given into this now and then but only when I insist. She works at reception and is always impeccably attired with perfect hair and make-up. Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/12/10

Hello Lionel,
I wonder what our other readers think of this sort of situation.
You suspicions and hurt feelings are entirely understandable, even though she probably is faithful.  Maybe she's being tactless, even unkind at times.  It sounds as though she's exactly the sort of bubbly, cheerful, very sociable person who can make a good and popular receptionist. Maybe a bit flirty, but without intending this to be taken seriously. 
Your circumstances probably have her feeling as though at home she lacks the level of socializing she'd prefer, so the antisocial media offer the chance to have fluffy and superficial relationships online.  You, on the other hand, sound as though the situation leaves you with perhaps too much time on your hands, too much time to worry and fret ?
Maybe seeing a counsellor could help for you to find other and more sustaining ways to spend your time, alone amd together.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lionel | 2018/12/15

Thank you very much for your advice. I sat my wife down and we had a heart to heart and cleared the air. We have agreed to make time for one another with affectionate hugs and kisses something alien to our relationship for a long time and things are going well. It will seem to us that the lack of good old communication was the big problem from the start.

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Posted by: Lionel | 2018/12/13

Some feedback on our relationship after taking your advice set down the wife and had a good heart to heart. Things are much better and she still spends time on instagram but I am fine with that after voicing my concerns and she insisting on being a follower of local singers , movie stars and sportsmen. Communication or lack of it is our main problem and we are working on it.Thanks. Lionel.

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