Posted by: Noni | 2018/07/24


I am married and I recently met a guy at the gym. He came up to me introduced himself and we talked a bit. But now I am experiencing "butterflies" when I think of him. I don't intend to do anything with him but then I started asking myself what is it about this guy that makes me feel this way? why am I feeling this way? What is the meaning of this feeling when he crosses my mind? Cyber shrink please help me get to the bottom of this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2018/07/24

Hello Noni,
Maybe other readers have had experiences like this, and could helpfully comment.  "Butterflies" rarely mean that there's something uniquely marvelous about the other person, but rather than there's something vulnerable about you. Sometimes it also means that the other person has recognized your vulnerability, and is exploiting it, using it to their advantage.
Apparently you chose not to tell him that you are married. Completely happily married people don't usually have emotionally charged chats with guys who give them butterfly's, nor fail to reveal early on, that they are married and in a happy relationship already. 
So look at your marriage, and whether there are aspects of it that are not fully satisfying for you and your husband, and think about whether seeing a couples counsellor could maybe help to sort out any current issues, and help you re-discover the butterfly's within your marriage ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Noni | 2018/07/25

I told the guy straight away that I'm married and I am not available. Our chat was just casual mainly introduction, I can bet it lasted for 2 minutes. I was surprised by the feeling a day after. My marriage has issues but I'm not looking to cheat nor have butterflies feelings at the thought of another man other than my husband. I can't explain it myself.

Reply to Noni
Posted by: Anonymous | 2018/07/24

I know how you feel. I sometimes fantasise about my personal instructor. Trust me I am not even sexually attracted to him(but it differs from time to time #CONFUSEDMUCH) but somehow I so want to dip my toe into that pool. I haven't seen him in months but I sometimes think of him. Just ones...but I cannot go and my high morals and the fact that I do love my husband and respect him way more then this lust I sometimes have for him...Noni I think the two of us just have to walk it off,haha

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Noni | 2018/07/24

Hi Cyershrink, I told the guy right away that I'm married. And the chat was a very casual chat, nothing emotional. I know my marriage is not perfect and I'm happy with my husband. This feeling caught me by surprise and I wanted to know if there anything out of the ordinary.

Reply to Noni

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